At 42, Sam Milby craves peace and quiet, sees ‘family man’ in his future

By Cristina DC Pastor

At 42, Sam Milby has accomplished much coming from a small town in Ohio where, according to the latest 2023 census Asians made up only about 2 percent of the population.

He has been a reality TV star, actor, singer, model and commercial endorser. He has appeared in blockbuster films, teleseryes and independent movies, and was nominated for a Gawad Urian. He has performed on stage and is now finding his way back to music after a six-year hiatus.

Surprisingly, Milby has remained uncomfortable with being at the center of it.

“I don’t like attention,” he says in an interview with Filipino journalists based in New York City where he insists that he is, by nature, an introvert. “I’m an introvert. I’m the last person you’d expect to be an actor.”

The boy who felt invisible

Milby grew up in Tipp City, an overwhelmingly white community. In school, he was sometimes teased for looking Chinese and was called “Chink.”  

“There weren’t a lot of Chinese in the area, so if you have slanted eyes, you’re called Chink,” he says, apologizing for his use of the term some would dismiss as “derogatory.”

He and his sister were homeschooled for six years with a tutor, before he returned to a regular high school as a sophomore.

His experience in his hometown was not particularly happy. He describes the students in his school as rich, snobby kids. “Mga isnabero, isnabera.”

“I was like a ghost to them,” he recalls smiling at the thought as it’s all behind him now. “They completely ignored me. I wasn’t exactly bullied, but I wasn’t accepted. Like, we can’t even talk to you. Parang ganun.”

Growing up, he was more interested in sports. He played hockey, golf and even competed in figure skating. He also enjoyed wrestling and, as a child, rode bikes and raced go-karts.

He briefly attended college in Ohio, studying engineering for a year but stopped schooling when showbiz claimed him.

When showbiz came calling

While visiting the Philippines (his mother hails from Surigao del Sur), a cousin suggested that Milby try modeling.

“They like mestizo-looking models,” he remembers being told. He decided to stay.

He did a few commercials, and several months later auditioned for “Pinoy Big Brother” reality TV show. He had no professional acting experience.

“PBB is…you’re just in a house, so it’s not so (scary),” he says. “You don’t even feel it.”

However, there was another problem: He did not know much Tagalog. Still, the coy young man from Ohio would eventually become a household name.

His first movie was “Close to You” (2006, with John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo) where he was introduced in a supporting role. It was a learning experience, particularly because he was, he said, surrounded by seasoned actors. Director Cathy Garcia-Sampana, he added, helped him find his footing.

“My first few projects, I learned as I went,” he says. “I got a lot of good projects over the years. I was blessed.”

Among the films that stand out in his career is “You Are the One” (2006) where he plays the role of a U.S. consul opposite Toni Gonzaga who portrays one applying for a U.S. visa.  He considers this his top-grossing film. He was also part of “Death March (2013),” an independent period film about the Bataan Death March where his role was that of an American soldier. It was memorable for him because it was screened at the Cannes Film Festival.

“My problem with historical films is my accent,” he says with a laugh.

His Tagalog has improved considerably over the years. “Medyo okay na ako sa Tagalog. Medyo dalubhasa na ako,” he jokes. The accent, however, remains.

Milby’s first salary as a commercial model was P15,000 ($245). It was an endorsement for a product that treats acid reflux. That commercial became ubiquitous after “Pinoy Big Brother” made him a household name.

“They posted that ad everywhere,” he recalls.

But Milby has never seemed particularly interested in maintaining a carefully manufactured celebrity persona. He says he doesn’t even watch his own movies.

“I don’t watch my movies,” he admits. “I don’t want to hear my voice. It makes me cringe.”

Finding his way back to music

Music was once a major part of Milby’s life. He released three albums under the Star Music label and performed extensively. Then, for about six years, the passion seemed to fade.

“It feels like I kind of lost that passion for music and singing…that confidence,” he says.

But something has changed during the past two years. The passion has returned. At Fiesta in America’s TFC Hour, Milby performed a couple of pop rock songs and played his guitar before an adoring crowd of Filipino Americans familiar with his films. Performing live again was his way of reconnecting with a part of himself he thought he had lost.

Living with diabetes

Milby also spoke candidly about his health. He learned at 39 that he had diabetes. It was not something he had expected, particularly because there is no known family history of the disease. He now pays close attention to what he eats. One of his go-to meals is ampalaya with omelet.

He does not spend much time in a gym, he said, but he exercises at home, doing sit-ups and push-ups. He also runs and uses a treadmill. He is currently undergoing stem-cell treatment for his condition and wonders whether stress may have played a role.

Milby has never been entirely comfortable with fame. Part of that discomfort, he says, comes from the way people perceive celebrities.

“Filipinos are so judgmental,” he says. “They can perceive you in so many ways.”

Social media has intensified the problem. He worries about the amount of hate and misinformation that dominates online conversations as well as the growing influence of artificial intelligence.

“We’re losing human connection,” he says. “I’m worried for the next generation.”

Hollywood still calls

Milby’s career remains firmly rooted in the Philippines, but Hollywood has not disappeared from his dreams. He recently auditioned for a Netflix film for a character role — a kontrabida — that would have required him to live in the United States for an extended period of time. He would love to work in America, he says. But he also recognizes how difficult it is to establish and sustain an acting career there.

“I would love to work here, USA, don’t get me wrong,” he says. “But I realize also there’s this one chance. The chance of being successful is not that great also.”

In the Philippines, he knows he has been fortunate.

“Sobrang blessed pa ako sa Pilipinas,” he maintains.

From father roles to family man

At 42, Milby already played numerous father roles on television.

During the pandemic, the series “Ang sa Iyo ay Akin (2020-2021, with Jodi Sta. Maria and Iza Calzado)” set restrictions on children appearing on set. The producers opted to cast teenagers rather than younger kids.

Life has increasingly made him think about family in a different way.

He describes himself as “definitely a family man,” and one who would prefer to live in peace and quiet.

He still loves New York City, he says. He spent time there in his 20s and remembers it fondly.

“I still would love to live in NYC,” he says. “I love the energy, the busy-ness and the craziness.”

But age changes one’s priorities.

“Now that I’m getting older, I want peace and quiet.”

He currently lives in Manila, but dreams of eventually moving to the province.

“The traffic stresses me out,” he says. “Gusto ko mapayapa na area.”

For all his accomplishments, Milby doesn’t talk about legacy in terms of box-office numbers, awards, or celebrity status. He wants to be remembered simply as one who is “approachable and kind.”

Can’t hurt to add someone who is “a nice and a genuine person.”