What the world needs now? A little more ‘Lambing’

By Mary Lou Cunanan

There’s a special kind of sweetness in the Filipino heart, one that’s hard to explain and even harder to translate. We call it “Lambing.”

You might think of it as tenderness or affection, but those words don’t quite capture the magic. Lambing is more than just soft words or kind gestures. It’s like wrapping someone in a warm, fuzzy blanket when they don’t even know they need it. It’s in the way we say, “Maglalambing ako sa ‘yo ha? Ipinagluto kita” — which, in English, awkwardly translates to, “I’ve lovingly cooked for you.” But even that doesn’t do it justice. It’s more like, “I poured all my love into this dish, and I want you to feel that love with every bite.”

Lambing isn’t just about what we do; it’s about how we do it. Even when asking for a favor, there’s a sweetness to the way we say, “Makikisuyo po,” like a soft little nudge of affection that’s impossible to resist. The words, the tone, the smile — it’s all part of the Lambing charm.

And here’s the best part: Lambing isn’t just for family or close friends. Nope! It extends to strangers, to passersby, to pets, to anyone lucky enough to stumble into the embrace of a Filipino heart. That gentle glow, that soft, playful sweetness, is in the simplest moments: “Kumain ka na ba? Kain tayo!” — a cheerful offering of food that says, “Come, sit, be loved.”

I grew up immersed in Lambing. It was everywhere — in my mom’s voice, in my siblings’ acts of kindness, in the way we say “I love you” without ever saying it outright. Lambing does all the talking, weaving love into everything we do. And then, I moved to the U.S. at 21, full of excitement and independence. I was walking my own path, discovering new horizons — but somewhere along the way, I started to feel a little too pragmatic, a little too hard-edged. The lyricism of Lambing was missing.

I began to crave it, not just from my family, but from any Filipino I’d encounter. Because that’s what this emotion does. It’s not just affection; it’s the everyday magic of softening life’s edges. It’s in every Filipino smile, every “Kabayan?” whispered to a fellow Filipino when you’re far from home. It’s that universal, unspoken understanding of care. And yes, it’s in every “Kumain ka na ba?”, which is really more of a loving nudge to say, “Eat, share, and feel at home.”

My mom, who passed away from pancreatic cancer, probably received highest honors in Lambing if ever there was such a thing. She’d still call me “bunso,” which translates to the baby of the family, even when I was all grown up. I’d proudly show her my stars or medals from school, and she would pinch my cheeks to show how proud she was of me with a gentleness in her voice.

Even when she was undergoing chemotherapy, having lost so much weight and struggling to walk, she would still muster all her strength to walk a few steps, knock on my office door as I worked, and lovingly say, “Anak, kain na tayo” (My daughter, let’s eat).

I think the world could use a little more of this peculiar Filipino trait. Imagine if we all sprinkled a bit of it into our daily lives! Instead of just a cold “please” or “thank you,” we could add that soft smile, that warmth in our voices, that sparkle in our eyes that says, “I see you, I care.” The world would feel a little kinder, a little more playful, and a whole lot more loving.

So here’s to Lambing, the Filipino superpower of sweetness. It’s the secret ingredient that makes life more joyful, more tender, more fun. And maybe, just maybe, it’s what the rest of the world needs to feel a little more alive.

Mary Lou Cunanan is a writer, world traveler, and international business professional. She aspires to spotlight and celebrate the remarkable contributions of Filipinos globally by covering inspiring stories, events, and organizations that showcase Filipino excellence. She is the first and only accredited Harvard Business Publishing Education Faculty Advisor Program in the Philippines and was recognized as one of the Most Influential Filipinas in the world by the Filipina Women’s Network in 2016.