In this ‘Pamanhikan,’ parents of the groom and groom meet, come to blows

Eric Elizaga and Patrick Cooley, as the gay, interracial couple Jun and Brendan, prepare to meet the parents.

‘Pamanhikan’ is a Filipino tradition where the parents of the bride and the groom meet for the first time. In this unique ritual involving families getting to know the other, there is a lot that can happen, which may prevent the wedding from taking place.

Such is the plotline of comic satire “Pamanhikan,” Angelo Santos’s directorial debut. In this short film, the parents of the groom and the groom are being introduced for the first time. Brendan McDowell and Raynaldo Hernandez, Jr. are a gay New York City couple in a loving interracial relationship. To break the news about their upcoming nuptials, they invite Jun’s Filipino parents to meet Brendan’s divorced American mother for a ‘pamanhikan.’

Jun’s parents live in a big house in the suburbs with a life-sized Santo Nino statue dominating the living room. In the beginning, Jun’s father, Dr. Raynaldo Hernandez, cannot understand why they have to meet his son’s “roommate.” His wife Clarissa does not tell him until the last minute for fear he will resist and not go with her. Clarissa has accepted her son’s sexual orientation, and is happy that he is getting married.

Brendan’s parents are divorced and only his mother, Alice Lowell, is invited to brunch. However, Alice brings her ex-husband Sean McDowell, which annoys Brendan. What follows is an awkward table where two sets of parents sit across from each other, seemingly sharing a meal while actually sizing each other up, their cultures and lifestyles as well as the sons that brought them all together.

Who is the bride or the groom in the relationship becomes a prickly question. Who is top — or bottom — during sex brings the question to the edge. Brunch ends with Brendan’s father getting a punch in the face from Jun’s dad, as neither wants his son to be the ‘bride.’

The film is a riotous satire of the Filipino culture of ‘pamanhikan’ and how second-generation FilAms adopt their parents’ traditions. It also exhibits the dysfunction in modern families where divorced parents and estranged children who are now adults come to terms with one another, and where Boomer parents try to understand their Millennial children and fail miserably. Only Clarissa, Jun’s mother, understands the situation and supports her gay son. Brendan’s disapproving mother and ignorant Dad do not make the situation any easier.

The film includes typical Filipino kitchen scenes like the all-too familiar rice cooker, and frying turon (banana fritters), which also serve as a crash course in Filipino cuisine to the foreign viewer.

When he auditioned, Hawaii-based actor Eric Elizaga, who plays Jun, disclosed he had to emphasize that he is Filipino, as he looks Chinese. Actress Arianne Recto, who has a 30-year old son and who portrayed Jun’s mother said, “Filipino mothers are very close to their kids, and want to be able to have that special bond with them.”

The other members of the cast include Patrick Cooley as Brendan McDowell, John Arcilla as Dr. Raynaldo Hernandez, Julia Campanelli as Alice Lowell, and Bill Hoag as Sean McDowell.

Director Angelo Santos said he had the script on the shelf for a year before he began filming. ‘Pamanhikan’ won first place in the Vail Film Screenplay Competition for Narrative Shorts in 2013. It also made the Official Selection of the 38th Asian American International Film Festival in New York in 2015, as well as the Golden Door International Film Festival in Jersey City the same year.

Santos works in television production which does not leave him with a lot of time to do more writing and production. He writes in the morning before going to work, he said, and is thrilled that ‘Pamanhikan’ is getting a lot of attention from the film community.

“Just be proud of who you are. I know it’s hard to do that but you’d be surprised at the reactions,” he said in a talkback with the audience after the screening. “I hope (with this film) I’m opening the conversation.”

The screening was shown recently by the Center for LGBTQ Studies (CLAGS) at the CUNY Graduate Center. CLAGS, which is the first university-based LGBTQ research center in the U.S., is also celebrating its 25th year anniversary. Kevin Nadal, the executive director of CLAGS, hosted a Q & A with the audience after the screening. The movie was well received by the diverse audience, and the room was full.

‘Pamanhikan’ has been invited to participate in the Ithaca Pan Asian American Film Festival from April 15-17, and the MiFo LGBT Film Festival in Miami on April 25.

The parents: Top, Brendan’s divorced mom and dad played by Julia Campanelli and Bill Hoag; Jun’s suburban parents star Arianne Recto and John Arcilla